All in His timing.

"Good judgement comes from experience. And a lot of that experience comes from bad judgement." -Jim Horning.

It's strange to think I've lived nearly 20 years on this Earth. Two whole decades! It seems like such a long time to me, but I know it's barely the blink of an eye in the view of eternity. I'm so thankful for the experiences I've had so thus far.. and I'm still definitely enjoying being a teenager while it lasts! (And for the record.. I've found that quote to be so very true!)

As I've mentioned before, I seem to have grown a heart for the people of Africa. I have several friends who have the same desires to go there as well, and I love to look at their pictures from past trips & imagine myself being there. Ahh, just to hug those precious babies! However, as I've learned from past mistakes (aka, bad judgement) that to try to push something outside of God's timing is never a good idea. Last summer, I desired to travel to France for missions. Deep in my heart I knew it wasn't right, but I so wanted it to be that I went for it anyway. The thing is, natural beings can't force the Supernatural to work. Too often I think I know better than the God who created time. Well, I learned that lesson the hard way, as I learned a mere three days from departure date that my passport was expired, and I would have to go to Houston to get it in time. This was impossible for me to do at the time, so I had to withdraw from the team.

All that to say, this Summer a trip to Uganda and Ghana with Visiting Orphans has been on my mind, and I feel an intense longing to go. The more I talk about it and think about it, the more excited I get and the more I want to go! I've applied for the trip, and all that is lacking is 2 reference forms and a $200 deposit. But to be completely honest, I'm just not sure if the timing is right. I am literally moved to tears when I think about going to Africa. My heart longs to be with those babies who walk the streets with no one to love them. But is this God's timing? Is this what You have for me, Lord? I'm just not sure. So, I continue in prayer.

Of course, I have also made plans to visit my parents in Romania this summer, where they will be moving (Lord willing!) in a couple of months. I love the people of Romania as well, so very much! I cannot wait to get back to those beautiful mountains and green hills, the dirt roads and the cows walking down the streets! The babies walking the streets there are just as important as the ones in Ghana, and I want to wrap my arms around them as well. But, to be honest.. the tears don't come. Why? Why for one place, and not the other? Maybe because I've been to Romania, and not to Uganda. Maybe because there is more press for helping the poverty in Africa, and not Romania. I don't know.

I don't know, I don't know. I don't know what I'll do. What I DO know, is that God is God. He is in charge, and my only job is to go where He sends me. Break my heart for what breaks Yours, everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause.

I want to leave you with these words from Oswald Chambers, in "My Utmost for His Highest."



February 1st: "The call of God"
"For Christ sent me not to baptize, but to preach the Gospel." 1 Cor 1:17

Paul states here that the call of God is to preach the gospel; but remember what Paul means by "the gospel" viz, the reality of Redemption in our Lord Jesus Christ. We are apt to make sanctification the end-all of our preaching. Paul alludes to personal experience by way of illustration, never as the end of the matter. We are nowhere commissioned to preach salvation or sanctification; we are commissioned to lift up Jesus Christ (John 12:32). It is a travesty to say that Jesus Christ travailed in Redemption to make me a saint. Jesus Christ travailed in Redemption to redeem the whole world, and place it unimpaired and rehabilitated before the throne of God. The fact that Redemption can be experienced by us is an illustration of the power of the reality of Redemption, but that is not the end of Redemption. If God were human, how sick to the heart and weary He would be of the constant requests we make for our salvation, for our sanctification. We tax His energies from morning till night for things for ourselves-something for ME to be delivered from! When we touch the bedrock of the reality of the Gospel of God, we shall never bother God any little personal complaints.
The one passion of Paul's life was to proclaim the Gospel of God. He welcomed heart-breaks, disillusionments, tribulation, for one reason only, because these things kept him in unmoved devotion to the Gospel of God.




This is a picture my sweet roommate Kayla shared with me from her trip last spring to Niger. So sweet!

Hello 2011!

Seems like my entire life it felt like 2009 would never come. That was the year I graduated high school. Now, here I am, wondering where the heck 2010 went! Considering I have no idea when I'll actually graduate college, I have found it better to live day by day, and semester by semester. But for now, 2010 in retrospect. :)


In 2010, I..

became a UNT eagle!
joined an African Dance Ensemble.
took French.
met my best friend.
became a bridesmaid.
toured the US with said African Dance Ensemble.
went to SXSW, at which Bryce Avery basically held my hand. No big deal. ;)
went to NX35.
got an “Incomplete” in a class. (oops)
performed at the Arts & Jazz festival.
moved 3 times.
fell off a Navajo racehorse.
was baptized by my big brother.
changed my major a thousand times.
chose and declared a major that I’m sticking with. (theoretically)
played cops & robbers til 5 in the morning.
took a ride in the back of a squad car.
dyed dark burgundy strips in my hair.
got my nose pierced.
turned 19.
fell in love with the Lord in a whole new way.
spent two weeks in SETX. (during which I met so many lovely friends!)
joined Mocha Club.
lived one semester of dorm life.
fell off my bike on campus in front of many people.
went to my first UNT football game.
went to my first UNT volleyball game.
rode a motorcycle for the first time.
joined Cross Timbers Community Church - love it!
became a Nanny!
became a “regular” at Jupiter House.
moved into my dream apartment in downtown Denton, TX.
messed up. a lot.
learned that there is more of God’s grace than I could ever use.

Praise God for 2010! Through valleys and the mountains God has been good. Though I stumble, stray, strive, and think of myself far too often, God has been good. He has seen me through all 365 days of 2010; all days that he ordained and knew. And however many days He gives me in 2011, whether it be all or some, He has seen them, died for them, and covered them in His grace. So, as Oswald Chambers writes, I “let the past rest on the bosom of Christ,” and I welcome the new year with excitement and anticipation to see what’s next! So, 2011... Bring. It. On. :)

This time for Africa.

Recently, my heart has been broken for the people of Africa.

It all started at the beginning of this year, when I joined the African Dance Ensemble at UNT. It was there that I had my first experience with any type of African culture. The class was taught by a Master Drummer from Ghana, Gideon Alorwoyie. I was awed by the sound of the drums, and had a blast stumbling my way through the tribal dances we learned. :)

Over the summer, I learned about an organization called Mocha Club.

This is an awesome organization that gets groups of young people together to donate what they can to raise money for different projects all over Africa. They understood that most college-age people don't have hundreds of dollars laying around to donate, but they do have a few dollars and a TON of friends! The idea is to donate $7 a month (the cost of two mochas) and give it towards a certain project.
The more people to join your "team," the more money you raise! It's a great opportunity to have a HUGE impact for those who need it! My team supports Education for kids in many countries. If you are moved to join Mocha Club, please consider our team! We are called "One Step Away," emphasizing the point that bridging the gap between the "haves" and "have-nots" is not as big as it seems!

I also stumbled upon this sweet sister's blog, called Kisses from Katie. These are inspiring, heart-breaking, gut-wrenching, and TRUE stories of a simple woman's larger-than-life love for people. She has adopted 14 little African girls, and has recently lost one in a court battle. Make sure you have some tissues handy before you read these, and do NOT be afraid to let them move you to action. I pray they do.

So, now what? What can I do, sitting at a kitchen table in Pilot Point, TX? After reading Katie's stories, watching the Mocha Club videos, and reading about all the suffering and injustice overseas, is it really so hard to give up two trips to Jupiter House Coffee a month? Is it so hard for me to not have the iPhone 4? Or an iPad? Or that sweater from Urban Outfitters?

To be completely honest, I'm ready to buy a ticket to Uganda and throw up the deuces to the US and everything here. It seems so unfair, that tomorrow while I'm signing a lease to a new apartment, a little boy is dying from lack of love, care, water, food, parents, etc... It breaks my heart to know that these precious ones in the Lord's sight are starving while I type now. We tend to think we "need" a lot of things, but we don't. Maybe we need a little... less. Maybe we need a reality check. Maybe we need Africa more than Africa needs us.

My Life as a Nanny.

Here I am. In my dorm room. Awake. At 2AM. My roommate, Rachel, is snoozing behind me and sleep-talking every once in a while. She's a good sport, always very patient as I keep the lamp on during my late nights here in Bruce Hall. :)

This seems to be my life lately. A lot of late night studying, waking up within ten minutes of class starting, squeezing in a shower during my lunch break between classes, and zooming off to pick up my kiddos from school right afterward! As much as I do the same thing over and over, I promise you, it's never truly the "same old, same old." There is no such thing in my life these days. :)

First of all, the kids I nanny every afternoon are adopted. They've been through more than a 6 and 7 year old should, and now BELONG to a wonderful set of parents who take care of them, keep them safe, and LOVE them like they deserve. These kiddos always have some kind of new adventure/drama/issue/scheme up their sleeve for me to try to figure out. There's never a slow day! I've worked with kids a LOT over my short lifetime, but never any quite like these. These two are crazy and hyper, they constantly misbehave, challenge me, push the limits.. they rarely listen the first time, they do things they shouldn't, and don't do the things they should. They fight, they argue, they whine. And I love them. They've captured my heart. I love getting my goodbye hugs every day, and seeing those two little blonde heads looking up at me with smiles on their faces. I love it when they sing along to the worship songs in the car, or start singing all on their own. I love feeling so proud of them when they get good grades, have a good day at school, or do something kind without being asked. I love having too many pictures of fish, hearts, dragons, and more fish that they've drawn me than I could ever have room to hang on my wall.

You wanna know the kicker?-- Out of all the churches I've been to, all the sermons I've heard, and all the retreats I've been to... They've taught me the most about God and my relationship with Him. The thing is, they're just like me. They're just like all of us. We all whine, we all fight, we all figuratively (maybe sometimes literally!) slump in our chairs and cross our arms when we don't get our way. We argue with God when we don't want to do what He says we ought, even though we know He knows best. We see how much we can "get away with." God says "don't do that" and we give him the pushing-the-limits-sideglance and do it anyway. And you know what? He loves us the same. He will scold, reprimand, and let us suffer the consequences of our actions, but His love never fails. When we fight and argue, He remains patient and merciful. When we become angry, He is gracious. And, He loves seeing my little blonde head looking up and smiling at Him, genuinely loving Him. He loves walking and talking with me. He loves the hundreds of silly letters I write to Him. He keeps me safe, He protects me from harm. He provides for me, blesses, me, and calls me His own. You get the picture. :) It is just the most beautiful, challenging, heart-wrenching, fulfilling thing I've ever done, to spend time with these kids.

One story of how God has spoken to me through this experience. My little 6 year old girl struggles with controlling her emotions. One time, she disobeyed something quite small, but big enough to earn her a time-out. The rule is, you go to your room for 6 minutes, and then you can come out. Time out does not start, however, until she is calm and quiet. It is a simple enough rule, right? Guess again. This little front-toothless wonder doesn't go down without a fight. She will try to run, fight, kick, argue, yell, etc... just to avoid six minutes in her room. Some days she cools her jets a little quicker than others, but this particular day, she was revved and ready to go. She was not going to serve her time-out sentence. She was going to be the boss and stay in the living room with us. This doesn't work with Miss Hannah. The rules are the rules, and Miss Hannah doesn't bend. ;) After about 15 or so minutes of persistent arguing, my little girl begins to cry, "Please forgive me Miss Hannah! Please! You gotta just forgive me!" So, I calmly peeked my head in the door and said, "Listen, I forgive you. But you cannot come out of here until you are obedient." Immediately after the words left my mouth, I couldnt help but to let out a little laugh. I realized there are so many times in my life I feel I'm in this distant place from the Lord. I've done something to step outside His will or I'm not doing something I should be obedient in. I feel alone, I feel sad, I feel like something just isn't right. And I'll cry, and I'll whine, and I'll complain and ask God "Why, why, WHY do I feel this way?!" I ask God to forgive me, but I kindly let Him know that I have no intention of giving up my fight. I want out of time out MY way. Then He calmly says to me, "Daughter, I forgive you. But you can't come out of this place until you are obedient." And until I calm myself down and decide to obey what He has asked me to do (which is always in my best interest anyway), I will remain in that place. Just like I tell my little girl how she is in control of how long her time-out lasts, I am in control of how long I will be distanced from the Lord. See, the thing is, when I/we feel distant from God, it's never HIM who has done the moving. Praise You Lord, for your eternal faithfulness.


Well, this has turned out to be a much longer post than I anticipated. :) Such is my life these days, so extremely full that I feel like I may bust at the seams!

I do have more to say, about an awesome book I just read, about my church family and what we're doing, and about family things! However, I doubt too many have even made it through this novel of a blog post to care anyway. ;)

Digging Deeper,
Hannah

Boxes, Planes, and Change.

Luke 18:22 "When Jesus heard this, he said to him, 'One thing you still lack. Sell all that you have and distribute it to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.'"

As I'm packing up all my things, dividing them into keep, sell/give away, and trash piles, this verse keeps coming to mind. "But God, does that include my collection of Ted Dekker books?!" I've been surprised at the amount of things I've been pointlessly attached to. At the same time, it's so wonderful to see how gracious and faithful God is to change our hearts. I used to keep every little thing. Every picture, movie/zoo/six flags/whatever ticket stub had it's place and memory. But now, I'm at a point where it's time to let go. As much as I'd like to keep the memories of my High School years, I've realized I can't wrap my arms completely around Jesus with other things in my hands. If I can never let go of the past, how can I be changed and move into NOW?

Wait, wait, wait. You may be asking yourself what on Earth I'm talking about here. Well, here goes. I've finally taken a step in obedience, that I'm sure many saw coming. I've finally accepted God's call on my life as a missionary, and brought my little rebellious heart down a step. I'm no longer chasing "dreams" that I knew where not what God wanted for me. I've changed my major from Art to Development and Family Studies. This will allow me to work with kids in foster care and adoption. Has my heart ever been anywhere else?! Nope!! The Lord used the wisdom of my very lovely and wise Mama, who shared with me that "God is still calling you where He's always been calling you." In other words, she was encouraging me to look back on the things God has always softened my heart towards, and to know that He probably hasn't changed courses on me. After some prayerful consideration, I shared with my parents that I would like to join them in their work as missionaries in Romania. :) :) :) We're not sure how, when, or for how long, but I'll be there. More than a commitment to immediate full-time ministry, this was a step of me joining my parents to do work as a FAMILY. I knew for a while that this was God's command to me, but I continued to put it off and look for a distraction or a way out. As I began to talk to my sweet mentor, Sarah, she looks at me and says, "You're going to Romania." She knew from the few words I said about it where my heart was. For so long my pride had been ruling my heart and tongue, as I always said, "My parents are missionaries to Romania.." as if I was some separate being, completely independent and on my own merry little way. Now, I have acknowledged that I am working towards a career in full time missions, just not positive in what capacity. Since then, God has opened up my eyes to so many worries and troubles that were on my heart, and made His answers very clear. In the words of Oswald Chambers, "You don't think a spiritual muddle clear. You OBEY it clear."

A friend asked me the other day, "So, if you meet Mr. Right in Romania, does that mean you'll just live there and have little Romanian babies?!" I replied "Well, I guess so!" Hahaha, but the truth is, I have no idea what will happen, whoever or wherever "Mr. Right" is, but I know he'll come around sooner or later (hopefully not TOO much later! ;)) and we'll have the same heart for the Lord. (Until then, whoever you are.. I'm waiting and praying for you.)

So, what until then? I'm moving to UNT! Not exactly Eastern Europe, eh? Nope. BUT, another cool thing God did is give me a GREAT job as a Nanny for a lovely Christian family with two kids adopted out of foster care. Can you say eye-opening?! I couldn't be more excited to get to love on them and be a part of their every day routine. So, I'm committed to these guys and my dorm for a year. Does that mean I can't live missionally right where I'm at? Heck no techno! I pray for the grace and the strength to see my life in the US as a missionary as well. God willing, my parents will hopefully be moving overseas in February, and I'll be able to join them for the Summer. God is faithful to show us exactly where He wants us, exactly when we need to know. (For example.. me changing my major and TOTALLY rearranging my class schedule within the last hour of early registration!)

There's no better way to end, but with this..

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." -Ephesians 3:20



Timisoara, Romania 2008
Potter's House kids.

France Update!

UPDATE!!

A few weeks ago I sent many letters informing friends and family of an upcoming short-term mission trip to France that I was raising support for. Unfortunately, I have not been able to go on the trip, due to an expired passport that was noticed far too close to the departure time to be able to get it renewed. All the days leading up to now I have prayed that if God didn’t want me to go, He would make it impossible for me to do so. And this is how He answered! I trust that He has divine reasons as to why He chose to keep me here. Thank you to those of you who were praying for me during this time, and I ask that you would simply transfer those prayers over to the team!

Love to all,
Hannah Brosch

Vagabond Summer.

SO MUCH GOING ON!

I've returned from New Mexico, a little bruised, a lot tired, and a TON in love with the Lord. :) It was an amazing one-week experience on the Navajo Reservation outside of Alberquerque (sp?). No shower for the week, no mirrors, no running water, no TOILET.. Sometimes it takes simplifying life and stripping away all the extras that we see as necessities to be able to get a close look at the face of God. And that's exactly what we got last week.

We put on a Vacation Bible School in the mornings, and spent time in the afternoons building relationships with eachother and the Navajos, playing baseball, taking naps, painting the church and playground there.. and even getting to ride (and in my case FALL OFF OF) some of their horses. Yes, that's right, I fell off their fastest racehorse as it was sprinting down the trail, and broke/sprained/strained my elbow (still not sure which). God protected me and shook me up a bit, to revive my thankfulness for life and his creation. The only time we could get phone/internet signal was on top of a mountain behind the res, so at night we would hike up to the top and give family and friends updates on what new crazy thing was happening that day. We had no choice though, but to ADMIRE God's creation before we could even look at our phones. The view of what the Lord created for HIS glory alone was breathtaking, especially since it was completely uninterrupted by buildings, smog, etc.. And, I was also able to be baptized by my hero, protector, and big brother that week, which was a dream come true. I admire many people, but my brother has to take the cake. Needless to say, it was a fantastic week!

Now it's time to switch gears! The time to leave for France is drawing closer and closer, and I'm not feeling ready at all! My laundry isn't done, I actually have no idea what to pack.. and my support is coming in quite slowly. However, I have been very encouraged to hang out with the sweet ladies I'll be serving with, and they are getting me very excited to get over there! Call me melodramatic, but I actually saw a rainbow on my way home today, and it reminded me to think of all the promises God has given, that He will provide for us exactly when we need it, and He walks us through every step. Praise Him, who faithfully pursues our hearts and never lets go!

So many other exciting things seem to be happening at home too.. But more on those later. ;) <3

ALL for the sake of the Kingdom,
Hannah