As I'm packing up all my things, dividing them into keep, sell/give away, and trash piles, this verse keeps coming to mind. "But God, does that include my collection of Ted Dekker books?!" I've been surprised at the amount of things I've been pointlessly attached to. At the same time, it's so wonderful to see how gracious and faithful God is to change our hearts. I used to keep every little thing. Every picture, movie/zoo/six flags/whatever ticket stub had it's place and memory. But now, I'm at a point where it's time to let go. As much as I'd like to keep the memories of my High School years, I've realized I can't wrap my arms completely around Jesus with other things in my hands. If I can never let go of the past, how can I be changed and move into NOW?
Wait, wait, wait. You may be asking yourself what on Earth I'm talking about here. Well, here goes. I've finally taken a step in obedience, that I'm sure many saw coming. I've finally accepted God's call on my life as a missionary, and brought my little rebellious heart down a step. I'm no longer chasing "dreams" that I knew where not what God wanted for me. I've changed my major from Art to Development and Family Studies. This will allow me to work with kids in foster care and adoption. Has my heart ever been anywhere else?! Nope!! The Lord used the wisdom of my very lovely and wise Mama, who shared with me that "God is still calling you where He's always been calling you." In other words, she was encouraging me to look back on the things God has always softened my heart towards, and to know that He probably hasn't changed courses on me. After some prayerful consideration, I shared with my parents that I would like to join them in their work as missionaries in Romania. :) :) :) We're not sure how, when, or for how long, but I'll be there. More than a commitment to immediate full-time ministry, this was a step of me joining my parents to do work as a FAMILY. I knew for a while that this was God's command to me, but I continued to put it off and look for a distraction or a way out. As I began to talk to my sweet mentor, Sarah, she looks at me and says, "You're going to Romania." She knew from the few words I said about it where my heart was. For so long my pride had been ruling my heart and tongue, as I always said, "My parents are missionaries to Romania.." as if I was some separate being, completely independent and on my own merry little way. Now, I have acknowledged that I am working towards a career in full time missions, just not positive in what capacity. Since then, God has opened up my eyes to so many worries and troubles that were on my heart, and made His answers very clear. In the words of Oswald Chambers, "You don't think a spiritual muddle clear. You OBEY it clear."
A friend asked me the other day, "So, if you meet Mr. Right in Romania, does that mean you'll just live there and have little Romanian babies?!" I replied "Well, I guess so!" Hahaha, but the truth is, I have no idea what will happen, whoever or wherever "Mr. Right" is, but I know he'll come around sooner or later (hopefully not TOO much later! ;)) and we'll have the same heart for the Lord. (Until then, whoever you are.. I'm waiting and praying for you.)
So, what until then? I'm moving to UNT! Not exactly Eastern Europe, eh? Nope. BUT, another cool thing God did is give me a GREAT job as a Nanny for a lovely Christian family with two kids adopted out of foster care. Can you say eye-opening?! I couldn't be more excited to get to love on them and be a part of their every day routine. So, I'm committed to these guys and my dorm for a year. Does that mean I can't live missionally right where I'm at? Heck no techno! I pray for the grace and the strength to see my life in the US as a missionary as well. God willing, my parents will hopefully be moving overseas in February, and I'll be able to join them for the Summer. God is faithful to show us exactly where He wants us, exactly when we need to know. (For example.. me changing my major and TOTALLY rearranging my class schedule within the last hour of early registration!)
There's no better way to end, but with this..
"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." -Ephesians 3:20
Timisoara, Romania 2008
Potter's House kids.
