Splat.

Three, four, maybe five days will go by, and I'll be doing great. Bouncing around the apartment, cleaning, reading, learning, memorizing scripture, praying... and loving it. Throw in the occasional nap, time to make dinner for the hubs, and my days are (pretty much) full.

But sometimes... something creeps up on me. Call it fatigue, call it laziness, call it discontentment, or just chock it up to hormones. Sometimes it's a horrible mix of all of those things, but most days it starts with one and slowly becomes the others. It will start with a day where I'm so tired that I can't even focus on the words on the pages of my Bible, so I sleep that day. I'll get up in time to make some dinner for the two of us, and shortly after it's bed time.

The next day, I enjoyed my restful day so much the day before, I decide to take another one. But this time, instead of sleep, I may sit down in front of my favorite TV show on Netflix. Before I know it, half of the day has gone by and I haven't done a single thing! Leftovers sound pretty good for dinner....

By day three of this downward spiral, I'm frustrated with myself for the time I've wasted. I'm discontent in where I am, what I'm doing, and thinking, "Why on Earth am I a stay at home wife?!"Cue the hormones and the waterworks... and then I'm completely useless and Kip is trying to comfort me, wondering where in the world this all came from. Can we go out to eat so I can console myself with a huge plate of fajitas?

I am just like the Israelites, who constantly forgot their God, what He had done for them, and what He had promised them. Forgetting, struggling, remembering, praising... Forgetting, struggling... I am so thankful that God is so faithful, because I have no hope outside of him.


There you go. Splat. A blog post that I've basically thrown onto the wall haphazardly and hoping it sticks. Maybe one day in the middle of one of these spirals, I'll get to go back and read this and remember how silly I am, and I'll be able to repent quickly and shake myself out of it. ;)